i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
