on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
wow bdsm is so cute
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
