Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize