do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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