k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
