Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
