I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
