How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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