these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
