In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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