VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
