My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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