Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
