Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
