I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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