i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
