jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
