he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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