So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
