I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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