the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
