You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
