My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
