i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
