is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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