so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize