covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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