you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
