remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My ATM looks so different sober.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
