Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
