capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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