I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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