i just had sex bonerless
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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