just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Congratulations! We have a period
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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