I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
