apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Alive.
So much puke
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
