How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
