i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
