I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
