im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
