Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
