i may or may not be watching the land before time
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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