the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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