She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
