He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
