it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
