He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
