Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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