Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she peed on how many people?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
