..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
