Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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