Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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