It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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