Got a toothbrush?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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